I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
