what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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