no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
