): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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