found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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