he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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