Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
