Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
