Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the day after is always just damage control
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
