why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
