she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
