Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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