Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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