dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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