I'm eating all of the evidence.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
