Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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