you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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