i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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