Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
