I like my sex mixed with concussions.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
