im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So vagazzling was a success
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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