it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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