belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
