Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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