How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have post one night stand depression
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