i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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