I wanna passion pit in your ass
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
