remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
