she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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