For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
