So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
