Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
