Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
