that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
