no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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