There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
