i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
