you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
