he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
