In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
