I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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