don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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