If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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