I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
