My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
