dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
