did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
