all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
