How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
only you would photoshop your dick
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
