You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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