if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
